


Masochism

by B_eden



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abuse, Attempted Abduction, BDSM, BDSM but a messed up unsafe kind not the safe and sane kind, Blood, Cutting, Dark, Degradation, Dissociation, Helplessness, M/M, Masochism, Mental Illness, PTSD, Physcial abuse, Possessive Behavior, Psycological abuse, Sadism, Stalking, Stridercest - Freeform, Submission, Trauma, Victim Blaming, a little trippy at one point, for the love of god pay attention to the trigger warnings, light gore, rather vivid portrayal of what PTSD can be like, slight empathy with abuser, submissive behavior, the cutting is hurting each other not self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 12:54:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17867648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B_eden/pseuds/B_eden
Summary: Bro breaks Dave. He saves Dave. He breaks him again. Can Dave ever find a way to reach Bro where they can have a salvageable, though still abusive, dynamic that they both can live with? I debated on not publishing this one, guys, ‘cause I’m not all about the whole degradation thing. I had a list of self-challenges, though, and this was one of them. But it’s still kinky and fulfilling in a messed up kind of way, so I know some of you out there will get a thrill out of it, haha! But for the love of god read the trigger warnings. No, really, people! Read the trigger warnings!





	Masochism

**Author's Note:**

> If you wanna know more about me as a writer and a person, (please follow I get so lonely and insecure) you can follow my:
> 
> Blog: https://caspercrowblog.wordpress.com  
> Twitter: https://twitter.com/CrowCasper  
> Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/writercaspercrow

Dave didn’t have to wake up this early for school, but he’d learned early on that Bro didn’t react well when he was forced to interact with him to make him wake up and get ready. It was easier for the both of them if Dave set his own alarm and moved as quietly as possible to get out of the house long before Bro even thought about rolling out of the bed.

 

 

Dave wouldn’t chance missing school or even being late, or letting his grades drop below average; anything that might send attention Bro’s way and remind him of Dave’s existence or the annoyance that would bring.

 

 

Dave poked at the tender purple skin around his wrist that was there because Dave had thought Bro was asleep on the futon and had changed the channel. He hoped that Bro would bring another girl home soon to work out his tensions. Every couple of months the man would engage in some kind of kinky BDSM shit with a small list of people that seemed to cycle through each other every so often. Bro would be relaxed for almost a week after that, and then it would slowly take time for his tensions to start mounting up again.

 

 

When Bro became too wound up too soon, he’d turn all that pent-up aggression on Dave. If he was lucky, they’d spar on the roof. If Bro wasn’t in a generous mood, however, he’d take out his anger on him behind closed doors. Dave felt helpless enough on the roof when he had a sword in his hand. There was no measure to how small he felt when Bro didn’t even give him the illusion of that safety net.

 

 

Dave stared at the toaster and clicked through a playlist of songs on his headphones as he waited for his Poptart. He had to admit that he was jealous. Those chicks Bro brought home would never have any angry marks on them when he’d catch a glimpse of them as they left. Whatever it was they gave him, Bro was grateful enough that he treated them like human beings. Dave wished that Bro would ever set his eyes on him without that tension pulling tight in his jaw that signaled Dave needed to throw his hands up to avoid the fist that would inevitably lash out at him.

 

 

Dave couldn’t help but wonder what it was those women were offering up to his brother that had him flipping a switch to some kind of protective and acceptably punishing dom instead of a physically, emotionally, and psychologically abusive douchebag. Was it all in the way Dave was viewing their whole dynamic? Was there something Dave could do to nudge things over into safer territory? Was there any that Dave could scrape up some kind of affection from him?

_Maybe I should read up on it._ He wished the food would hurry up. The kitchen wasn’t neutral ground. If he ran into Bro out here, he couldn’t be sure that the man was in a mood to deal with him. He jumped when the Poptart leapt out of the toaster, and then he immediately reached for it without thinking. He hissed and tossed it from one hand to the other as he turned to retreat into the safety of his room.

 

 

There was a solid chest blocking his way, and Dave’s hand flinched violently enough to throw the Poptart against the wall. It broke into seven pieces and crumbled onto the counter. Dave was already pressing his back against the counter in his desperation to put some distance between himself and Bro, and he needed a reason to look away from him, so he reached for it again. The exposed center stung his fingertips, and he hissed again as he dropped it.

 

 

“Idiot.” Bro grumbled as he opened the fridge, nudged a few swords around, and grabbed a beer. Dave had no way to know that Bro had been out all night and was just getting home rather than just waking up.

 

 

Dave sighed as he tugged his headphones down to his neck and braced his hands on the counter. He was bitter with Bro for making him lose his composure. He wasn’t supposed to be up this early. Wasn’t there some kind of unspoken agreement between them on how to most efficiently avoid each other?

 

 

“You know.” Dave complained. “You’ve always got something shitty to say about me. You ever wonder what would happen if everything you said to me just...like...appeared on my skin or something? How would you feel then?”

 

 

Bro’s head was tilted back as he chugged the entire can. It was only then Dave wondered what stress Bro might be going through to have him drinking at this hour. He tilted his face down as he dropped the pieces of his breakfast into a napkin and prayed that Bro would just ignore him as usual. He had no such luck.

 

 

Bro slammed the empty can on the counter and over-exaggerated a hum of interest. “Don’t know.” He hiccuped as he threw open a drawer and crammed his hand around in the disarrayed utensils. “Let’s find out how I’d feel about that.”

 

 

Dave dropped his breakfast to the floor this time as Bro slammed the drawer closed and turned to him with a peeling knife. “Wow! Bro, what the fuck? Come on!”

 

 

Bro grabbed his sore wrist and pinned it to the counter. He shoved Dave’s sleeve up to his elbow and tilted his head as if he was an artist lost in thought. Dave knew better than to think he was bluffing, but he still couldn’t figure out what the hell it was Bro wanted out of him during these altercations.

 

 

“C-come on. I gotta get to school.” He tried to push his sleeve back down, but Bro’s large hand was clamped around his arm preventing it. Bro lowered the knife to his skin and Dave turned his whole body away to avoid seeing him carving into his flesh. “Please, please, please stop!” He screamed and struggled when he felt several quick jabs and drags.

 

 

Bro tossed the knife into the sink and released his arm. Dave looked down with dread that he would now have some kind of insult permanently marked on him. He was almost grateful when he saw it was a crude smiley face that hadn’t even been outlined with a circle. It was just an ominously blood-red face floating against a background of albino white skin.

 

 

“L-last week one of m-my teachers asked about why I always have bruises all over me!” Dave cursed himself because Bro had been walking away from him. Now he stood frozen with his back to him at the edge of the little kitchenette. Dave was panting desperately, and his heart only hammered faster the longer Bro took to respond to him. When he finally spoke, his voice was low and void of inflection.

 

 

“What did you tell them?”

 

 

Dave’s throat was dry. He couldn’t read him, but a calm and quiet Bro was usually never a safe Bro. “I...I told him that a couple guys around the park give me a hard time, but that I’m not going to cave into avoiding the...the...p-park. So it’s probably not going to get better, and I don’t...I don’t care.”

 

 

“He believe you?”

 

 

“Yeah. Every word.” Dave almost wished that Bro would look at him. That is, until he turned around and had this hint of a smirk that was somewhere between amused and arrogant.

 

 

“Idiot.”

 

 

“W-well what did you want me to tell him? That it was you?”

 

 

“Nah. I mean that you were trying to make a threat, but you lost your goddamn nerve and instead you just told your abuser that he’s got a long term excuse to do whatever he wants to ya.” He backed Dave against the counter and looked down at him from a towering height.

 

 

Dave still couldn’t read him, but it was disturbing how it felt like he was satisfied with the current events. He stood there for too long letting it sink in that he’d openly referred to himself as Dave’s abuser. Then everything moved in a whir as he roughly grabbed Dave’s arm and pulled Dave along with him further into the apartment. For a terrifying moment Dave thought he was taking him into his bedroom, but instead he found himself tripping behind him into the bathroom.

 

 

Dave fruitlessly tugged against his captured limb as Bro dug in the cabinet and held his arm over the sink. Panic set in as Dave’s mind filed through a dozen reasons Bro might need the sink beneath his exposed flesh, and none of them seemed like something Dave was going to enjoy. He pushed against Bro’s side and gritted his teeth at how little the solid muscle responded to him.

 

 

“What the fuck, Bro!” Dave could see that Bro had found what he’d been looking for. It was a bottle of alcohol. He didn’t bother to measure it out or put any in a cloth first. Instead he dumped the bottle over Dave’s open wound.

 

 

Dave didn’t realize he’d instinctively thrown himself against his brother for comfort until his scream was being muffled against his chest. He was disturbed to find that Bro had lifted his arm to allow him to get that close. Bro’s free hand was stroking his back as if to soothe him. Bro released his arm and Dave pulled it into his chest to cradle it as if hiding it right against the guy who’d done it to him in the first place would do any good.

 

 

“Give it back. Now.” Bro relaxed when Dave obeyed him and jammed his arm back over the sink. Dave’s face was still buried in his chest, so he couldn’t see that Bro was putting a cartoon band-aid over the mark. His hands landed on Dave’s shoulders when he was finished, and he gave a quick squeeze before he heartlessly pushed him and walked away.

 

 

Dave stared at the wall and hugged his arm long after he heard Bro’s bedroom door close. He hated how, when he tried to picture Bro in his mind, he so often only saw him from the mouth-down because he could rarely force himself to look up when he was around him. How often had he memorized the buttons on Bro’s shirt when he was in the process of terrorizing him?

 

 

Dave looked down at the bright band-aid, and he wasn’t surprised to find that he was overwhelmingly confused. A few minutes with Bro did that to him. Was all that just now an apology? A thank-you to Dave for his loyalty? Or was he mocking him after further punishment?

 

 

The days flew by far too quickly. Dave wasn’t as excited for the summer break as everyone else. Time away from school meant time that Dave had to make up excuses to avoid the house all day every day. He had to do this unpredictable juggling act that he failed at every time because, at random, Bro would flip out on him and act like he was spending too much time away. Other times he’d backhand him for crowding him when Dave was only coming home to get fresh clothes after spending several nights at a friend’s house.

 

 

Dave couldn’t keep local friends for very long. There were too many questions that might make their way to the ears of responsible adults. That left Dave staying with people who were almost complete strangers before ditching them when they got too close. Dave was cursing this fact while trying to catch some sleep on a park bench when a shady looking guy spoke to him.

 

 

“You look hungry, kid.” He was too big, and his long legs looked like he wouldn’t have trouble keeping up with Dave if the situation called for him to make a run for it. Dave knew better than give him a second glance, but he was pretty hungry. “Why don’t we go over to the food truck and get a bite to eat? My treat.”

 

 

Dave wasn’t surprised when he had trouble losing the guy after his stomach was full. He’d thought he’d been slick, offering to dump their trash for him and saying he’d be right back. He slipped around behind the truck and then took off running while trying to keep the truck between he and the creeper so he wouldn’t see he was ditching him. He didn’t realize the guy must have been staking him out for a while until he rounded the corner to his apartment building and saw him standing there with his hands in his pockets scanning up and down the sidewalk.

 

 

“Fuck.” If he’d been watching him, that meant his motives were a lot more sinister than trying to lure a kid into an alleyway to bully them into a blowjob. Dave’s stomach lurched, but he was determined not to lose the greasy nutrition he’d acquired. He pulled at the handle of a side door and cursed when the guy turned just in time to see him.

 

 

Dave didn’t bother to take the elevator. He knew that would have been a mistake that would have landed him alone in a square box with the guy being that close on his heels. When he finally reached his floor, breathless and shivering, his eyes widened to see the douchebag lingering around in front of the elevator as if he’d known what floor Dave lived on.

 

 

“What’s your game, old man?” Dave was walking back as the man advanced with an insincere smile.

 

 

“Hey, kid. I thought we had an understanding?”

 

 

“Hands off.” Dave swiped at the guy’s fingers far harder and faster than he’d expected. He only had a second to be proud of that before the guy grit his teeth and lunged at him. Dave didn’t waste any time bolting down the hallway while screaming his tired lungs out. “HEEEELP! STRANGER DANGER! FUCK! BRO! BRO PLEASE BE HOME! I MEAN I KNOW BRO’S HOME AND YOU’RE GONNA GET IT SOMETHING FIERCE WHEN-” Dave coughed when the guy tackled him against his own front door. “NO NO NO NO!” He was so close to safety. His fists violently cracked against the wood as he continued to scream for Bro.

 

 

The man laughed. “Nobody cares about you, kid. No one’s there. Won’t you come with me and we can-”

 

 

Dave collapsed forward when the door opened, and he exhaled in relief when he saw Bro’s feet. His arms were wrapping around his leg before he could stop himself as he burst into tears.

 

 

“The fuck? What he’d do now?”

 

 

“I didn’t do shit! Dude’s a creep, Bro! Tryin’ to diddle me or somethin’!” Dave whimpered when the guy had the audacity to offer Bro some money. Bro stared at the fan of cash for long enough for Dave to start tugging at his leg insecurely. “B-bro? Y-you’re not thinking about taking that, right?”

 

 

Bro didn’t comfort him. Instead he looked up to the guy’s face and stared some more. “So...this money is for...”

 

 

The guy smirked darkly because any considerate parent would have put the situation together long ago, closed the door, and called the police. He mistook Bro’s inaction for acceptance of his intentions.

 

 

Dave was having the same confusion. “Bro p-please. I’m not his! I don’t wanna be his! I’m yours, right? You can’t sell me! I’m yours!” Bro seemed suddenly interested in Dave as he shifted to get a better look at him wrapped around his leg.

 

 

The man’s smile was making Dave sick now. “That doesn’t mean you can’t spend a little time with another friend, son.” He winked at Bro. “You’re feisty little plaything there is quite the tease.” He explained as if Bro would know exactly what he was talking about. “We had some lunch in the park, and-”

 

 

That was the last thing the guy would be able to say without a lisp as Bro finally accepted he was hearing what he thought he’d been hearing. Dave cradled his knees and winced at the screams and yelps from the hallway until the guy must have passed out, because the only sound left for a time was the sickening thud of fists hitting meat.

 

 

Dave gasped when Bro came back through the door, covered in blood, and still didn’t seem to have gotten it all out of his system. He kicked the door closed, yanked Dave too his feet, and bruised his back against the counter as he screamed at him. Dave was too shell shocked to process any of the words coming out of his mouth, and he was too detached from his body too feel any pain when his face whipped to the side as Bro slapped him and sent his sunglasses flying. The helpless detachment he saw in Dave’s eyes must have worked to help him come down off his rage.

 

 

“Here.” Bro’s voice had calmed to a growl as he hovered a fist out like he wanted Dave to take something. “Kid. Dave. Here.”

 

 

He kept repeating himself, softer each time, until he was finally speaking an unfamiliar gentle tone that managed to make Dave’s eyes focus on him. Dave held out his hand without being conscious he was doing so.

 

 

“You _are_ mine. No one fucks with you.”

 

 

Dave blinked rapidly as he wondered if he was really hearing something semi-comforting from the man. Then Bro ruined it by throwing him to the ground and calling him a tease under his breath before storming into the bathroom to clean himself up.

 

 

Dave sat against the counter for a long time, trembling and crying, before he finally looked down into his hand. He laughed through his sobs. “Oh, that’s fucking sick, Bro.” He pushed to his shaky feet and went to find a plastic bag to put the piece of tongue into.

 

 

He wasn’t sure why the fuck he wanted to keep it, but a distant part of his brain was singing about how Bro had given him some kind of gift and a messed-up sense of belonging and security. Some kids had shoeboxes full of birthday cards. Dave had the tongue of his attempted kidnapper. Suck it, bitches.

 

 

Dave sank to the middle of his bedroom floor clutching the plastic bag. He stared at the corner of his bed unable to shake the fog that had come over him. He couldn’t feel his face; couldn’t feel anything. He was numb. He didn’t notice the time passing, or the sun setting, or notice that he hadn’t turned any lights on as he sat there in the darkness. He didn’t hear Bro speaking to him or even process that he’d turned his light on and came into his room.

 

 

Bro knelt in front of him and snapped. Dave jumped, but he couldn’t quite find the direction the noise had come from. He was staring at the buttons on Bro’s shirt again. Bro took the tongue from him. “You should keep this in that spot next to the air conditioner on the roof for a couple weeks until we know that guy isn’t gonna rat us out. He won’t, can’t without incriminating himself, but just in case.”

 

 

Bro studied him for a long time when Dave didn’t respond other than to nod and murmur. “Okay, Bro.”

 

 

“All right. Stand up.” Bro’s touch was careful as he tugged on Dave’s arms. Dave robotically obeyed him. “Come on. No.” Bro caught him when Dave moved towards his bed. “I got you covered in blood, kid. We gotta clean you up.” Dave mechanically held up his arms, wrists-up, and something about the motion seemed to please his brother. Bro rested his forehead on Dave’s. “Hey. You’re safe. Can you hear me?” He stroked Dave’s face. “Okay. That’s okay. Come this way.”

 

 

Bro lead him to his dresser and rummaged for a change of clothes. Dave couldn’t think clearly enough to embarrassed when Bro discovered a vibrator and held it up as if to ask Dave about it. When Dave didn’t react to the taunt, Bro tucked it back in place with a sigh and finished finding what he was looking for.

 

 

Bro was out of his own clothes, had Dave’s shirt off, and was opening his pants before Dave had a spark of awareness. “W-what?” He grabbed onto Bro’s bare shoulders, but his hands slid down his chest when Bro straightened. Dave whimpered as he felt his pants drop around his ankles, and he jerked his hands away when he realized he was touching Bro’s skin.

 

 

“You’re alright. Get in the shower. Step out.” Bro braced his foot on Dave’s pants so he could step out of them. When Dave started to look down to see what he was doing, Bro’s hand caught his chin and directed him to look up at his face. “Eyes up here.”

 

 

Dave was trapped in the exposed orange eyes. “Bro?” He swallowed heavily. Bro didn’t seem mad, and he wanted more than anything to keep him that way; to keep his touch gentle. He couldn’t think straight. What was it that he was doing different that was making Bro care about him? “Okay,” he droned in any case, because he wanted him to know he wasn’t going to fight with him. He couldn’t fight with him. Dave had no defenses. They were completely gone.

 

 

Dave whimpered when Bro’s hand caught his chin again to prevent him from looking down. “I’m s-sorry.”

 

 

“It’s okay.”

 

 

“W-what...what was I supposed to do?”

 

 

“Get in the shower.” Bro hooked an arm around his waist and guided him to step over the ledge of the tub into the warm spray of water.

 

 

Dave trembled as he felt Bro step in behind him. He couldn’t quite reach in his mind what all he was afraid of. A single thought pushed its way to the front of his mind as he heard the cap of a soap bottle. Bro had fucking taken a guy’s tongue. Dave jumped when he felt a washcloth on his back. “Th-thank you.” The cloth stilled.

 

 

“For what?” Bro was checking to see how aware Dave was becoming by trying to get him to elaborate on his random mumbling, but Dave had no way to know this. When Dave only stammered and then went quiet, he dragged the cloth over his shoulders and turned him to face him.

 

 

“I’m sorry.” Dave spoke mechanically this time when Bro’s soapy hand caught his chin and aimed Dave’s face back up. Dave squinted his eyes as he tried to recognize the personality in front of him. It sure looked like Bro, but only if Bro was suddenly completely comfortable with the social situation he was in. Some part of Dave’s heart knew he wanted to take note of this; to break it apart; study what was happening that was making Bro not hit him. “Don’t hit me.” Dave didn’t even know he’d whispered it out loud.

 

 

Bro’s hand paused from where he was scrubbing at a line of dried blood across Dave’s cheek. He looked to Dave’s eyes, but it was clear he still wasn’t all there. “Okay,” Bro murmured when Dave repeated himself. He finished cleaning him, focusing more on his arms, face, and chest. He avoided his lower half where he was sure the soap rinsing down was sufficient enough for this situation to clean him.

 

 

“Close your eyes.” Bro hummed pleasantly when Dave immediately shut his lids and tilted his head back, but Dave wasn’t sure why. Dave flinched when he felt Bro’s hands in his hair. The lack of sight had him teetering for balance as Bro worked his fingers against a strand of hair that was stiff with dried blood. Bro guided Dave’s hands onto his shoulders for support.

 

 

Dave’s hands moved further up around his neck when Bro tilted Dave’s head back into the spray of water to rinse away the shampoo. His large hands were framing Dave’s head, and Dave shivered as his fingers stroked against him in a warmer gesture than simply helping to wash away the soap.

 

 

“You can open your eyes now.”

 

 

Dave didn’t know how long he’d been standing there with his eyes closed needlessly before he’d been given permission to open them. He hadn’t completely processed why he needed to close his eyes in the first place, and he didn’t want to assume it was okay to open them before Bro stated so.

 

 

When his lids opened, Bro was still framing his face in his hands. Dave had the impression that Bro had been allowing him to stand there for quite some time just to see how long he would do so while waiting on Bro’s voice to instruct him. Bro’s eyes were a little heavy-lidded, but Dave couldn’t be sure if that was normal for him since he usually wore sunglasses.

 

 

Bro tilted his head with interest when Dave returned the eye contact. “You back with me yet?” He caught Dave’s chin for the millionth time. “Up here before you scare yourself, kid.” Dave’s eyes widened. “Calm.” Bro blinked serenely as he confirmed Dave was starting to come back to reality. The motion worked to slow Dave’s hastening breaths. “Let’s get outta here.”

 

 

Bro reached around him to shut off the water, but he stiffened when Dave wrapped his arms around him as if he’d been going through the simple motions of hugging another human being. Bro’s hands flew up to Dave’s back as he panicked at the unexpected contact. Dave sensed the tension and sucked in a breath.

 

 

Bro exhaled a few times as he struggled to decide whether to push him away or allow him to stay long enough to chance the kid noticing they were both fully erect. “You’re okay.” Bro’s voice broke as he patted Dave a few times before stepping back and searching his void eyes. Bro’s shoulders relaxed when Dave didn’t show any sign that he’d taken any note of just how damned his brother really was.

 

 

He dried him and dressed him, and Dave was distantly reminded of an earlier time when Bro used to be kind to him. Bro sat him down in front of the tv and sat all the way across the couch from him as he found a movie that he hoped held good memories for the kid.

 

 

Dave awoke in the morning time with no recollection of how he’d gotten to his bed other than a fleeting memory of Bro’s voice in the darkness as he’d tucked him in. That wasn’t possible. Bro didn’t do things like that. He shivered as the deep vibration echoed through his head. “You’re mine, kid.”

 

 

Dave hesitated in his doorway as he stared at the back of Bro’s head over the futon. He didn’t process what game he was playing on the television. He only knew that he felt a strange kind of security that told him he could speak to his brother. Dave walked around the futon but stood several yards away from the man. Bro’s sunglasses didn’t turn away from the game. His posture seemed tired and slack.

 

 

“Hey, Bro.” Dave caught himself before he worried his hands and kept his stance in a picture of ease that was practiced rather than natural. “Where’s that plastic bag I had? With the...the thing in it?”

 

 

The game paused sending the apartment into an eerie silence as Bro rolled his head to face him. He tilted his head forward and his sunglasses slid down so that he was looking at Dave over the rims. Dave sucked in a breath when the orange orbs appeared even warmer when the whites of his eyes were bloodshot. His sockets were sunken and dark as if he hadn’t slept in far too long. His eyebrows were creased in a frown that looked far too natural on his features.

 

 

The expression was clear. It had been a mistake to speak to him. Dave kicked himself. Why the fuck had he come out of his room? Shit, what time was it? What day was it? Had Dave missed school? Oh, it was summer time. Wasn’t it? He couldn’t think. Bro’s eyes were on him, and he looked both impatient and terrifyingly hungry.

 

 

Bro’s voice was low as he growled his words through vocal chords that clearly hadn’t been used in a while. “You talkin’ again now?”

 

 

Dave’s fingers tightened as he fought the cold tremor snaking across his shoulders. He couldn’t respond. What did Bro mean by that? How long had it been since Dave had spoken to him? Wasn’t it just the night before?

 

 

Bro hummed to himself and rolled his attention back to the screen. “It’s the same as I told you yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that.” His thumbs mashed too hard on the buttons for several seconds. “I put your bag in our stash place by the air conditioner on the roof. Leave it there for a bit. It’s where I told you to put it, but you didn’t do it. Why didn’t you do what I told you? Dave.” It didn’t seem he expected Dave to answer him.

 

 

Fuck. Was Bro mad at him? Dave should run. He should defend himself. How? There wasn’t a defense. He didn’t even remember Bro telling him to do something, so that could possibly mean that Bro was making it up because he wanted a reason to punish him. If that was the case, there was no avoiding it, and running would only make things worse. It was too late. Dave had already messed up when he’d made the stupid decision to step in front of the man’s eyes. What had come over him? What was with that fleeting feeling that Bro was approachable? Dave couldn’t be sure how long he stood there staring off as he tried to make sense of anything in the world around him, but the next thing he knew the house was quiet again and Bro was looking at him over his sunglasses.

 

 

“You leave me again?”

 

 

Dave’s lips moved, but no sounds came out. He gave up and turned his eyes toward his bedroom door. It was so far away; miles away. He’d never make it. His legs wouldn’t work, and even if they did, Bro was so much faster than him.

 

 

“Yeah.” Bro sighed heavily and sat the controller to the side. He took his hat off and scratched his fingers through his hair as he cursed under his breath. His hands moved to his face as he took off his sunglasses and rubbed his palms against his eyes in exasperation.

 

 

The tortured sockets turned to look at Dave when he realized he was mumbling. Dave was chanting something about not wanting Bro to be mad at him. He was begging him again. “Fuck.” Bro pushed to his feet, grunting as he commanded his stiff limbs to work. His long legs took him over to the blank human in only a couple of strides.

 

 

Dave thought to himself that he should be running. He should be throwing his hands up to protect his head. He should at least crumple to the floor in a sobbing, pathetic pile. He should do anything at all to respond to threat as Bro loomed over him looking down at him. Instead Dave’s arms stayed limp at his sides, and his head tilted back to expose his throat to him.

 

 

The man hovering over him groaned in response. Bro’s voice came out distant and breathless as his eyes lingered on the rapid pulse along Dave’s neck. “I broke you. Fuck, I broke you.” He didn’t seem aware that his hand had made its way to slide around the pale skin offered up to him, but he was plenty ready to catch Dave when his legs gave out in response.

 

 

Dave was fascinated with the ceiling as strong arms carried him into his room. He distantly registered that he was overwhelmed with Bro’s familiar scent. The man was close enough to hurt him, but that wasn’t the only association Dave had with the smell now. When Bro placed him in his bed and moved to release him, Dave suddenly threw his arms around Bro’s shoulders and buried his face in his neck. Bro froze up before he gave into sitting on the mattress. He returned the embrace, and all Dave’s air escaped him.

 

 

The man was squeezing him too hard, but Dave could only be grateful for the anchor the touch offered his soul in the swirling darkness the world had become. He felt lips on his neck and Dave tilted his head for better access. The resulting pleased growl exhaled across his skin and caused a full-body shiver. The lips pressed against him more desperately, and the hands moving across him were searching and almost violent. Bro’s fingers clenched in Dave’s clothes every few seconds as if he was torn between stopping himself and letting go of all control.

 

 

Bro moved to straddle him, and Dave only moved pliantly to accommodate him. He was grateful for every moment he wasn’t feeling pain. Bro pressed Dave’s hands out beside his head, and when Dave obediently left them there, Bro stilled and dropped his face against Dave’s chest. The only sound for quite some time was both of their labored breaths.

 

 

Bro dropped his face into the pillow next to Dave’s head. “Fuck.” His voice was muffled, but Dave still flinched. He recognized the tension in Bro’s body language, but his brother’s current actions were doing a number on his point of reference for deciding what was about to happen to him. Bro screamed into the pillow in frustration, and Dave’s hands went slack as his body melted further into complete, helpless submission.

 

 

Dave’s empty eyes stared at the wall as Bro pushed up and drew back his fist. The large wrecking ball came down over and over, decimating Dave’s pillow and forcing tears of confusion from the kid beneath him. Bro left his fist against the pillow the final time as he realized Dave was speaking to him. Against his better judgement, Bro leaned down to put his ear near Dave’s lips to hear him.

 

 

“Please, please, please. Don’t be mad at me. Bro, I’ll do anything you say. Anything you want. Anything.”

 

 

He clutched a hand against Dave’s chin and forced him to look up at him. Dave’s eyes were so far away, and Bro pursed his lips as he continued his struggle to pull away from him. “I know. I know, kid. That’s pretty clear.” Bro’s lungs were fighting for life as he closed his eyes and dropped his forehead against Dave’s.

 

 

Dave’s pupils decreased ever so slightly in size as the stillness drew his curiosity. His breath hitched when Bro tilted his face and hovered his lips close, so close to his. Dave’s lips parted slightly as his eyes searched Bro’s. The awareness now present there wasn’t lost on the older man. Neither was the fact that Dave wasn’t trying to move away.

 

 

Bro growled deep and leapt to his feet. Dave missed the warmth and the pressure of his body, even more so when Bro began to kick and throw things. The outburst only lasted a few seconds, but it was enough to send Dave right back into his void little world inside his head. His glazed eyes locked on a piece of tape on the ceiling that used to hold up a poster.

 

 

Bro rubbed his face in his hands and whined. He was unable to look at the traumatized kid on the bed. He would normally have gotten these urges out by hurting him, but he just couldn’t bring himself to harm him when he knew Dave had no defenses. The surrender was beautiful to him, even as the guilt flooded his chest.

 

 

This wasn’t some safe and sane BDSM game with a consenting partner that had clearly wanted to coast along in subspace and had thoroughly communicated their desires. This was Dave’s real life. The kid really was at his mercy, and the mist in his brain wasn’t the good kind of adrenaline high that Bro had caused for so many others.

 

 

Dave didn’t have the luxury of a green-light/yellow-light/red-light system to communicate when he was about to be pushed too far. Bro had true control over him, and goddamn if that wasn’t irresistible to the broken monster in the center of Dave’s room now resting his hands on his knees and gasping for breath.

 

 

Bro straightened and stared toward Dave’s window. He felt an uncomfortable pressure and looked down to find he was painfully hard and jutting against his pants. He had been so caught up in the high of control that he’d almost forgotten sexual desire was a thing. Bro almost laughed at his body’s pathetic attempt to mimic nature. “Fuck you.” He pinched the bridge of his nose as he realized he was now arguing with his cock. “Just. Fuck you.”

 

 

He turned his attention to Dave’s petrified body. The kid was hard too. “You fucking tease,” he spat, though he wasn’t sure if Dave could even hear him.

 

 

His fingers twitched as he itched to touch him. He had to get away from him. Bro went the fridge, chugged an entire beer, and then took another one with him to the futon. He stared at the pause screen for too long before he finally returned to the game.

 

 

The day went by in a blur. He heard Dave moving around in his room a few times, but the kid didn’t get much accomplished before he’d return to his bed. Bro ordered some food and all but spoon-fed some to Dave when he only ate a few bites on his own. Bro took him to the bathroom, and then to bed. Bro fell asleep sitting up; his head lolled back against the back of the futon.

 

 

He awoke to Dave’s stoic voice. “Hey, Bro.” He was hovering near the living room window again, several yards away from Bro. “Do you know where-”

 

 

Bro sighed. “Where your bag with the goddamn tongue in it is?” He didn’t mean to aim his tormented eyes at the kid so quickly, but Dave stiffened. He was gone again. “Fuck!” Bro threw the controller and kicked the coffee table until it splintered dangerously. “Fuuuck!”

 

 

The days crawled by for Bro, but time melded into one confusing lump for Dave. Eventually, though, as Bro refrained from hurting him and steered his actions more toward caring for him, Dave began to come back to himself.

 

 

The school was too large, are there were too many kids to juggle for any teachers to notice that Dave’s behavior had changed. His grades dropped, and he slept through most of his classes, but he managed to barely scrape by without drawing attention to himself or his home life.

 

 

Bro joined a secretive local group that he felt was really helping him to understand his urges. However, he also learned that most people turning to the S/M lifestyle didn’t do it for the same reasons as him. He was scrambling to find a healthy way to deal with his own past trauma and a darkness inside him that had far less compassion than other doms he’d force himself to humor during parties. He had at least hoped that some of these people could make him feel less of a freak, but instead they were turning out to be normal, healthy people that simply had reasonable kinks average society spit on because they didn’t understand.

 

 

Bro still didn’t have anyone to understand him. He was kind of glad about it. It made him have a little more hope for the world, but less hope for himself. He felt like a predator every time he managed to hook the attention of some naive submissive that wanted to go home with him. The worse part was he didn’t even mind because the wolf in sheep’s clothing vibe radiating from him helped to draw a sincerer emotion of fear from his playmates. He wanted more; couldn’t take more. They were all so goddamn good at playing the part, though, and Bro found he could get just enough of what he craved without pushing the boundaries far enough to get himself labeled unsafe in the community.

 

 

If they only knew. If any of them had ever just stopped to tap on Dave’s door and took a good, hard look in that kid’s eyes. Fuck, Bro loved it, but a part of him missed Dave’s smart mouth. It gave him the excuse to punish him; to hurt him; to touch him. Now he had to treat Dave like a wobbly house of cards, and for some reason that made it that much harder for Bro to control himself. Treating him cruel had been Bro’s only lifeline against taking their relationship into a territory he didn’t think Dave would survive.

 

 

So, what was stopping Bro now?

 

 

Bro closed his eyes and leaned back on his elbows against the bar. The lights from the busy dance floor flittered across his body.

 

 

The kid was already broken. Why not have his way with him? Maybe because there was a tiny fleck of soul left in Bro’s black heart, and that miniscule sense of awareness held a shaky mirror of liability for a human being that trusted him no matter how many times he’d shattered that glass in the past. Dave was the perfect prey for the animal inside of Bro. He had made sure of that when he was molding his brain out of a blank slate. Bro was a Frankenstein, and something told him it was only a matter of time before the monster he had crafted from the ground up would turn on him. He didn’t want to lose him. He needed Dave. God, he needed Dave so goddamn much.

 

 

He opened his eyes to find a woman with intelligent eyes watching him. “Need me to walk you to grandma’s place, little girl?” The simple ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ reference line never failed. Perhaps it was the heavy scent of danger in his delivery. He enjoyed the visible shiver that worked down her slender body as her lips parted.

 

 

She nodded her head. She didn’t ask for any paperwork. Good. She was neglectful of common sense and willing to gamble on the horror scenario of miscommunication in this game. Just how Bro liked it. It meant he could push them too far and wait a little too long before asking for their ‘color’. He found it was either green or red, because when it was yellow, he could tell, but he didn’t ask. Instead, he drank it in.

 

 

Dave heard Bro walk in the front door. He was surprised to find his shoulders didn’t raise in fear, even before he heard the woman’s voice and confirmed that Bro wasn’t going to pay any attention to him. He was confused that the thought bothered him slightly. Bro rarely spoke to him anymore other than to ask him if he’d eaten or showered. He didn’t even hit Dave when Dave slept through his alarm and Bro came into his room to turn it off and nudge him awake.

 

 

He hadn’t called him to the roof to strife since the summer before last when that guy had tried to buy Dave from him. He made a mental note to ask Bro whatever had happened to that tongue. He wanted it, but he’d never had the courage to take it from where Bro had put it on the roof. It had probably rotted away, or maybe the heat had mummified it.

 

 

Why wasn’t Bro hitting him or choking him or bruising him or pushing him down the stairs anymore? Didn’t he love him? Didn’t he care at all?

 

 

Dave blinked rapidly as he caught his line of thinking. _What the fuck is wrong with me?_ Rose had warned him that what he and his brother had was bound to mess up his image of what real affection should be. Rose warned him of a lot of things. She’d promised never to tell anyone anything he confessed to her, but she begged Dave to go live with her or John, or even Jade if Dave wanted to get out but didn’t want to have to explain himself to an adult and beg for protection.

 

 

Jade would ask questions herself, though, and Dave didn’t want to talk about it with anyone other than Rose. The others weren’t an option because he wouldn’t ever chance getting Bro in trouble. The man would go to his grave without the faintest threat of paying for his sins.

 

 

It was early in the morning before Dave heard the woman leave. Bro’s posture was relaxed, and his movements were almost liquid when he turned to see Dave standing by the kitchen.

 

 

“Hey, Bro. Whatever happened to...to that...bag. With the...the thing.”

 

 

Bro stiffened, and Dave took a step back when he approached him. He moved their sunglasses and clutched Dave’s chin in his hand as he studied his eyes to see if it the question was genuine and aware or if something had triggered the kid into dissociating after over a year of recovery.

 

 

“You with me?” Dave nodded, though his eyes were now wary with Bro’s full attention on him. “Stay with me. I ain’t gonna hurt ya.”

 

 

Bro walked away from him and disappeared into his room. Dave waited, wondering if Bro had dismissed him or not, but then he came back. He held up his hand and dangled a necklace in front of Dave’s face so that he went cross-eyed.

 

 

“Take it.” Bro exhaled in relief when Dave did as he said, and he confirmed he hadn’t gone back into shock because of Bro talking to him. “It’s incased in amber. I know a guy. Had him put it in there so it wouldn’t be as gross.”

 

 

It probably wasn’t the weirdest thing Bro had ever done. It was good, though. Appropriate, somehow, for what they had. Whatever it was they had. Dave dropped the necklace over his head to indicate he was accepting it. Bro’s shoulders relaxed, and he turned away. Dave watched him go, not sure of what else he’d wanted from the interaction but feeling unfulfilled.

 

 

The mixture of relief and disappointment hammered against his rib cage. He closed his mouth with a loud snap. What the hell had he been about to do? He’d just stopped himself from saying something snarky to see if Bro would touch him. That’s what had just happened. Dave shuddered as Bro’s door clicked gently as he shut him out.

 

 

Dave didn’t really want Bro to hurt him, did he? He wasn’t a masochist. No, he didn’t know what he wanted from the man. All he knew is that he needed something more.

 

 

It was another four weeks before Dave finally found a shitty comment tumbling past his lips to Bro’s back as he moved to ignore him as usual. Bro froze but didn’t turn to him. When Bro gathered himself and kept walking away, Dave tried again. He didn’t even stop as he closed him out.

 

 

These little confrontations happened for several months before Dave began to notice Bro was avoiding the apartment all together. Dave took a couple of swords to the roof, and as he expected, he found Bro there in a lawn chair drinking with that creepy puppet. Lil’ Cal seemed all too aware of Dave as he tossed Bro’s sword by his feet and drew his own with noisily sliding metal.

 

 

Bro’s unused voice was gravel. “I can hear your hands shaking.” He tipped the beer to his lips, but when Dave swung at him, he was on his feet with his sword in hand. He locked his jaw and tightened his hand on the sword as he fought not to take the bait. Dave stuttered as he threw some rather raw insults at him, and Bro failed to contain himself like a reasonable adult dealing with an unruly person smaller than themselves.

 

 

After that point, a dam broke, and Dave returned to wearing long sleeves to hide the marks. Their relationship varied between periods of violence to times where Bro treated Dave extra careful after he routinely went too far.

 

 

The gentle times slowly gave way to isolation as Dave recovered enough to become more aware of what he was doing to make Bro treat him so kindly, but Dave was starting to learn. The only thing he couldn’t figure out was how to make Bro move towards him during the times that Dave wasn’t dissociating. The only way he could get his attention was to lash out, and then Dave would miss most of what he was longing for when he would check out too much for too long in response to the resulting abuse.

 

 

Dave had researched submissive body language and behavior to better understand what he was doing that triggered Bro into switching to that rare protective aftercare instinct. Yet, if Dave was acting passive to begin with, Bro wouldn’t stop to look at him.

 

 

Dave made the decision to corner the man and see if he could be baited in a soft direction, but the thought scared the life out of him. He would have to go right into Bro’s territory or else he wouldn’t put his eyes on him. He had to do something unusual to take him off guard so he wouldn’t react violently right away or else Dave was likely to check out.

 

 

Then there was the whole issue of not knowing exactly what Bro would do to him if he took him up on the offer to take control of him. He was sure Bro wasn’t one of these safe and sane guys that would poke around to try and see what would make Dave comfortable. Dave would have to be willing to submit to whatever he wanted or things might likely switch right back to violence.

 

 

So, what did it seem like Bro was always pulling back from doing? Dave didn’t have to think too hard on it. Bro simply wanted to fuck him. That had to be what the man wanted, because if he just wanted to hurt him, he could, and did, do that anytime.

 

 

Dave wasn’t sure about the timing. He decided to go for a time where Bro’s fingers twitched when he saw him, but before the beatings became intense enough for Bro to take it behind closed doors.

 

 

Dave couldn’t assume Bro was above cramming his cock in him with no lube or preparation, so he took some time work himself open with his vibrator before he climbed into his chosen clothes. He felt like a sacrifice as he looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. He was pale and shaking.

 

 

His knuckles barely graced the wood as he knocked on Bro’s door. His shoulders rose when Bro growled, “What?” Dave had expected him to tell him to go away, but then again, it’s not like Dave ever tried to seek him out. Maybe he assumed it was an emergency. That was encouraging; that Bro would at least hear him out for a few seconds if he came to him.

 

 

“C-can I come in?”

 

 

“Whatever.” Bro was across the room at his desk, but as Dave stepped inside and closed the door behind him, he swiveled the chair around to face him. His hands fell heavily to the arms as he aimed a deadly glare at him. Shit, he wasn’t wearing his sunglasses in the dim light of his room. Dave hadn’t counted on trying to keep it together when he could actually see his eyes on him.

 

 

Dave leaned back against the door, and his arms crossed insecurely over his chest. Bro’s posture was bored and impatient in comparison, but he said nothing as Dave stared down at his own bare feet. Bro’s eyes darted down and back up, but Dave didn’t see him assessing his body language. He didn’t notice how the way his hands were fidgeting on the zipper of his jacket made Bro calmer.

 

 

“That’s my jacket.” Bro noted in monotone, so Dave couldn’t tell if he was angry about him swiping the article of clothing that hung large on him.

 

 

“I...I want you to stop hurting me.”

 

 

“That a threat?” Bro’s response was immediate.

 

 

“No.” Dave swallowed heavily. His hands trembled as he moved them to his baggy pajama pants. He pushed them over his hips, and they dropped to pool around his ankles. He wasn’t brave enough to check Bro’s reaction. Bro said nothing and didn’t move as he waited to see where this was going. Bro wasn’t about to jump to conclusions. It was likely that Dave was just showing him how many bruises were splotched across his legs.

 

 

Dave’s fingers picked at the zipper, but instead of suggestively pulling it down like he had planned, he ripped it down all at once. He shrugged his shoulders and let it fall to the floor. His hands returned to hug his arms. He winced when Bro humphed a short laugh.

 

 

“That your normal underwear, then, kid?” He made fun of him, but his eyes were glued to the lacy red boy shorts. He tore his eyes away and frowned as he took a good look at him. His pale skin was covered in bruises; older, faded hues of yellow, various shades of red and purple, and only a couple of newer blackened ones blossoming across the snowy canvas.

 

 

When Dave said nothing, he had to wonder if the kid had checked out on him. “You with me?”

 

 

Dave nodded even as he slid down the door. His fingers were tugging at the necklace Bro had given him as if to remind himself that Bro had a good side. Though, that good side involved forcing someone to bite their own tongue off.

 

 

Bro was about to go to him, to gather him up and take him to his bedroom, and assume that he had been trying to make a point about how much Bro had hurt him despite the confusion that he’d chosen to wear sexy panties for the event for some odd reason, but then Dave pushed forward and fell onto his hands and knees.

 

 

Dave glanced up at him before dropping his eyes back to the floor, and the submissive gesture caused Bro’s breath to catch. Dave’s head hung low as he slowly crawled toward him. His arms were quaking, and the closer he moved to the man, the harder it was for him to continue. Bro was so enamored with the beautiful display that he almost forgot to try and stop it.

 

 

His voice wasn’t as biting as he meant for it to be when he was so distracted with the movement of Dave’s boney shoulder blades as he came towards him. “This because you’re almost old enough to move out and you’re too scared to try and make it on your own?” Dave hesitated as Bro belittled him, and then shook his head in denial. “You tryin’ to fuck your way into security like you fuck your way into strangers’ wallets?”

 

 

“Bro.” Dave dropped lower. “I’ve never fucked anybody.”

 

 

Bro shouldn’t have been so satisfied to hear that. He didn’t want to say more mean things, but he didn’t know how else to get Dave to retreat and save himself. He didn’t have the parental skills or even the care to develop such skills to deal with something like this in even a remotely healthy way. “You’re sure acting like a whore for someone who doesn’t think sex pays the bills.”

 

 

Dave fought his fears enough to come within inches of him. He sat back on his heels and placed his hands palm-up on his knees in a way he’d seen online that maybe could reach a soft spot in the man.

 

 

Bro didn’t realize he was clenching against the chair arms until one of them broke off. Dave jolted but ultimately managed to stay in place. Bro dropped the chair arm as Dave leaned forward and softly nuzzled his face against the side of his brother’s knee. His eyes darted up to Bro’s face for only a second before his shoulders rose when he couldn’t read him. He closed his eyes and kissed his leg in the most chaste, worshipful fucking way Bro ever could have imagined.

 

 

“Did I say you could touch me?” Bro’s voice was labored now.

 

 

Dave jerked back and looked down to his lap. “I d-don’t want money, Bro. I w-want...I want...” He shuddered. “Fuck, I want you to love me.”

 

 

Bro was losing control; had already lost control of his thoughts. Dave didn’t need to stay with him. He needed to get away from him. Far away. Dave wanted to stay with him. Why? Goddamn, Bro couldn’t think about Dave leaving. He couldn’t stomach it. He had to go for his own good, but fuck Bro didn’t give a good goddamn about that. Dave belonged to him. He wanted to be his-

 

 

“Fuck!” Bro stood and aggressively yanked Dave to his feet.

 

 

Dave yelped and his legs wouldn’t work. “Bro, don’t hurt me!” Bro’s arms wrapped around his waist as he dragged him toward the door. Dave dug his feet against the ground as Bro reached for the handle. “No!” Was he going to throw him out of his room, or out of the house completely in nothing but his underwear? “Bro don’t throw me out! I don’t want to go! I’m yours! I’m fucking yours! Please! I want to be yours!”

 

 

“Shut the fuck up!” Bro ground out as he shoved Dave into the hallway. Dave ran back into his arms, but Bro pushed against him again. “Go find another fucking sugar daddy who won’t hit you so much you dirty fucking whore!” Dave stumbled back into the hallway as Bro slammed the door on him.

 

 

Bro’s head thumped heavily against the door as he fought for air. A thousand images of Dave flooded his mind when he clenched his eyes shut. The thought of him naked on his knees in front of him, bowing his head and begging for his affection, was at the forefront of his mind.

 

 

Dave hugged himself and stared at the door. Bro had rejected him. That was the end of it. That was the end of his heart. Bro didn’t love him. He had to accept that, but how could he live with it? But Bro hadn’t hurt him. Dave let out a shaky breath as he looked down his body to confirm he had all his parts. He hadn’t hurt him, so did that mean something?

 

 

Bro’s fists hit the door and Dave looked up with wide eyes as he heard the man losing control. “Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!” The door swung open, and Dave turned away and covered his face. He was too afraid to run; too vulnerable to make it very far even if he did. Dave cried out as Bro spun him around to face him and slammed him against the wall. “Don’t you do it! Don’t you even fucking do that! Ever!”

 

 

“W-what?! Do what?!”

 

 

“Never go to anyone else! No one touches you! You’re mine! You fucking hear me?!” He clasped Dave’s face in his hands and forced him to look at him. “You’re mine!” Dave’s pupils were still searching Bro’s eyes; still seeing him. He hadn’t yet retreated in his mind, and Bro couldn’t decide if it was good or bad.

 

 

“Yes! Yours!” Dave’s hands stroked quickly and carefully along Bro’s hands on his face as he silently pleaded with him not to make the grip brutal. The sound of his fingers sliding along the leather was almost soothing. “I’m yours!”

 

 

Pain flashed across Bro’s features, and then confusion, as if he didn’t realize how he’d wound up in this position. His tone was suddenly gentle as he studied the kid. “Dave. You’re mine.”

 

 

Then his lips were on Dave’s as they both fought to pull air in through their noses. One of his arms dropped to hook around Dave’s waist, and his lips only left him for a heartbeat as he swept his legs out from under him. He stood in the hallway cradling him as he ran his tongue over Dave’s lips. Dave opened his mouth to him, and Bro groaned as he invited him inside. Their bodies were finally connected in some way that didn’t involve Bro breaking Dave’s skin with something sharp. He was claiming him; leaving no further question that Dave belonged to him.

 

 

It wasn’t nearly enough. Dave was pliant and willing and so fucking ready to do anything he demanded of him. Bro wasn’t thinking clearly when he pulled back to ask Dave his level of comfort as if he should be familiar with any BDSM terms. It wasn’t as if Bro would have checked for anyone else at this point, but Dave was different. “What’s your color?” Bro rattled his head as he tried to decide how to quickly explain the question to the kid. He blinked rapidly when Dave blindsided him by actually answering him.

 

 

“Green.” His arm was over Bro’s shoulders and his fingers feathered against the back of his neck causing Bro to shiver.

 

 

Bro’s eyes were almost pained again, but nothing could have stopped him from turning to take Dave to his bed. He kicked the door closed behind him as if the kid might try to run. He hoped he realized that wasn’t a choice now. Then again, now that Bro had abandoned his attempts at curbing his desires, chasing him down could be fun.

 

 

Hell, though, the kid was looking at him with these heavy-lidded eyes, like he trusted him, and he’d aim those eyes down every time Bro looked at him because ultimately it didn’t matter if he _could_ trust him or not. Fuck, Bro loved him so fucking much it physically hurt. All the more sad for the kid that Bro’s kind of love was ten sides of messed up.

 

 

Bro lowered him to the bed, and Dave’s arms slid above his head as he finally let himself search Bro’s eyes. Dave followed Bro’s eyes as he glanced to the side. There were chains on the headboard and a flogger he’d forgot to hide away was sitting in plain sight, but Bro didn’t really want to use those things on him at the moment. He just wanted to see Dave’s reaction. He wasn’t disappointed.

 

 

Dave swallowed a whimper and closed his eyes, but he pressed his arms further up toward the headboard so that Bro would more easily be able to bind him if it pleased him. Bro left his hands free and instead focused on ridding Dave of the last piece of fabric covering his body.

 

 

“Color?” His eyes didn’t look away from between Dave’s legs, and Dave reddened when he noticed Bro had no shame in staring at him.

 

 

“Green.” Dave whispered. “It’s always green for you.”

 

 

Bro groaned. That’s just what he wanted to hear, though it wasn’t a safe thing for Dave to say. At least, it wouldn’t have been if he was saying it to any other crazy motherfucker.

 

 

“You sure about that, kid?” He pressed the palm of his glove against Dave’s stomach before dragging his hand down his hip and along his thigh. “What if I wanted to cut you? Or piss on you? Or cram my whole fist up your ass? You think about any of that before you just give a guy the green light to do whatever he wants to you?”

 

 

Dave turned his face away as the intensity of Bro’s eyes burned his face. He didn’t retreat into his head. Instead he dropped his legs further open in surrender. “I trust you. You can decide what I can handle. I’m yours.”

 

 

Dave sucked in a breath when Bro moved quickly to drop down over him in response. When he only kissed him, possessive and thorough, Dave began to writhe against him. The fabric of his clothes felt intimidating against his naked skin. It was a vivid reminder of who exactly was in control; even if the man was already dwarfing him in size and prodding his tongue into every inch of his mouth to conquer him.

 

 

“I can’t...” Bro’s eyes were clenched shut now, and for a horrible second Dave thought he was trying to say he didn’t want him. Then Bro framed his face and his desperate eyes were boring into Dave’s. “I can’t wait. I can’t fucking take it.” His mouth was back on his as his hand flew down to touch him.

 

 

Dave mewled into his mouth and his eyes rolled back as Bro’s hand wrapped around his cock. He didn’t have to work on him long before Dave was a trembling mess teetering on the edge of release. Bro could only thank his luck that Dave’s fear and confusion hadn’t been enough to detour his libido. He couldn’t convince himself to pull his lips away as he tilted his head to look longingly at the dresser. It took more self control than he’d ever been able to muster before to pull away and stretch for the drawer to retrieve the lube.

 

 

“You need to relax to me.” Bro’s voice was shaky as he yanked at his belt and pushed his pants open.

 

 

Dave nodded. “I’m ready. I...I already...worked myself open.” He couldn’t find any better words to communicate the fact with him as his eyes landed on Bro’s hard length.

 

 

Bro’s hands fumbled clumsily as he processed what Dave was saying. “Fuck.” He pressed his palms against his eyes and commanded himself to take a second to breath. When he moved again, it was only to slather the liquid against his cock without even taking off his gloves, and he dropped back down over top of him.

 

“Relax.” He reminded as Dave’s eyes went wide. Bro continued to watch the myriad of emotions cross Dave’s face as he lined himself up and began to push inside of him.

 

 

Bro wasn’t angry when Dave touched him then. His arms flew around his neck in search of reassurance as he fought to open himself to the discomfort invading him. “There you go, baby. Let me in.” Bro groaned at how welcoming Dave’s body was for him. “You’re so fucking perfect.” He didn’t know why he was shaking harder than Dave at that point, but he was pretty sure it was because Dave had somehow bested him. He was winning at this, and Bro couldn’t spare a single competitive thought to dispute the feeling. “Do you feel that? You feel what you do to me, kid? You make me want you.”

 

 

Dave’s head fell back when Bro started to move inside him before giving him enough time to fully adjust. Bro was glad he wasn’t looking at him now, because his surrender was so beautiful, and he’d waited so long to have him, he wasn’t sure if the moisture on his face was all sweat. “Fuck, Dave. You do this to me. You make me lose myself. You make me fucking love you.”

 

 

Dave moaned as if he’d just gotten everything he’d ever wanted in life. Bro didn’t stop him when he reached for his cock. He latched his mouth onto his exposed neck and sucked as he felt Dave’s body seize up and start clenching around him.

 

 

“Fuck, kid...” Bro hadn’t even finished riding out the waves of Dave’s release before he was emptying himself into him and mouthing no telling what kind of promises against his throat as he did so.

 

 

If Dave had been afraid Bro would flip personalities on him once he was finished, he was comforted that it wasn’t so when the man continued to press kisses across his face and neck and stroked his hair until their hearts slowed. He was murmuring things like, “Mine,” and “Can’t ever leave me,” and Dave knew that he had finally found a way to control where this all went. He’d found a way to take this whole messed up thing between them, shake it up when necessary, and get what he needed, what they both needed, in their fucked up little world together.

 

 


End file.
